Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. –Song of Songs 8:6

I’ve been thinking a lot about death over the last month and a half.  A close family friend, Tommy, unexpectedly passed away the beginning of May and I’ve been watching how his death has affected my family. I’ve dealt with a close family member’s death before, but not one like this. To lose someone who was so full of life, so full of joy, and so young is difficult to understand. I know I don’t understand why he was taken so soon.  And you know, maybe it’s not a matter of understanding. The Lord does things all the time that we struggle to comprehend.

I see the effects Tommy’s death has on my family and it breaks my heart. I’m handling it all right, but I don’t think we will ever get over this. He was such a good person…so loving, so carefree, a great husband, role model, and father to his kids. And he was my father’s best friend. Throughout my entire life I’ve witnessed the amazing friendship that my father has with all of his friends from college. I believe that such a strong friendship like theirs cannot be easily broken. Death has no hold over my father’s friendship with Tommy. Their friendship has lasted 30+ years, and there’s no way that death is going to put a stop to that. I believe, I know, that love is stronger than death.

What am I supposed to say to Tommy’s family? They’ve always been apart of my life and right now I’m just at a loss. My heart has been broken and put back together so many times in the last month because of this death. If I can’t give myself comforting words, how am I supposed to comfort Tommy’s family? I don’t know what it’s like to lose a father/husband/best friend. I can only imagine that it’s awful. I guess the only thing I can do is tell them that I’m thinking about them, and I do think about them. Every day.

There’s so much suffering in this world and people die every day, so why is this death so hard to understand? I think it’s one of those things where you never expect to lose someone so unexpectedly and when it happens, everyone is floored. There was no time to prepare. No time to get goodbyes in order. There are some people that you never expect to lose. Tommy was a staple in my book of life. He was always going to be there unless the page got ripped out or if someone used one of those staple removers. I guess that’s what happened. His page is still there and his family’s staples are there, but his is gone. It's heartbreaking to think about it.

Maybe the Lord is using Tommy’s death as a way to bring all of us closer together. My family, Tommy’s family, and about three or four other families of my father’s friends from college get together every fall and tailgate before Auburn games. There was a consensus after last year’s perfect season that we would continue the tailgate tradition, but at one of the houses, not at our typical tailgate spot. Since Tommy’s passing we have decided to hold the tailgate at the place we’ve been tailgating for the last 20+ years. It’s going to be different, but I know that Tommy will be there. He’s going to have a hand in everything we all do from now on.  

It’s sad and it’s hard. It’s going to be tough, but we have each other and God is always there guiding us and pushing us forward.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33

Lord, I lift up Tommy’s family, my family, and everyone else affected by Tommy’s death. Let your love come like a raging river and wash away the sadness, heartache, anger, depression…everything. Let it wash away everything that’s plaguing the people I love. I pray that they will lean into you and that you’ll love on them a little bit, God. Spread that joy and love through them. Bring understanding and healing to Tommy’s family and walk with them every step of the way, God. Like one of JD Helser’s songs says, “I believe the hills are full of a mighty angel army.”…put that army around their house and let those angels walk instep with them as they go throughout the day, pick them up when they fall, and encourage them to keep moving forward. Lord, I know you don’t give us anything we can’t handle, but this is really difficult, and we can’t get past this sadness without you. Bring us strength and understanding, courage when it feels like we can’t take anymore, and comfort when it just becomes too much. I pray that your love will radiate throughout this family and they will finally be at peace.  In Jesus name, Amen.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us. –Romans 8:18